Chapter 15: Explanations
“You didn’t unpack?” Tom stood in the doorway of the bedroom, nude, towel in hand.
“I wasn’t sure you’d want me to stay,” I admitted, sitting on the bed. He looked confused. “I didn’t know whether you’d be angry that I didn’t tell you was coming. I let you be miserable for an extra night, I guess.” That didn’t sound very good. “So I could surprise you,” I added hastily.
Tom picked up on a different part of my confession than I’d expected though. “Only one extra night? You only decided to fly out here yesterday? Why?”
Uh oh. “Well, Luke worked on convincing me for a few days. I guess he finally got to me, is all. Yesterday I told him to go ahead and make the arrangements, and he told me our flight was this morning. I didn’t expect him to come too, but it made sense since I didn’t really know where I was going, and no one here knows who I am.”
Tom nodded, thinking. “I wonder why Luke was so keen to get you out here now,” he mused, half to himself. “I brought up the idea in June and he told me he thought it would be too distracting for me to have you here.”
Despite having just had sex with him twenty minutes ago, seeing him stand in the doorway naked was pretty distracting. I tried to focus on his face. “Like I said, he heard you were pretty sad. I guess you haven’t been hanging out with the rest of the cast the way you used to?” I was gambling there, but I thought it was a safe assumption to make.
He nodded slowly. “I guess I have been a bit of a spoilsport lately.” He took a deep breath in and let it out, slowly. I watched his lightly muscled chest rise and fall and felt warmth between my legs.
“If you don’t get in the shower right now, I’m going to have to escort you there myself, young man.” Distraction is a game two can play. I stood and started stalking towards him. He grinned and held his ground, but his hardening cock belied his nonchalance.
“You and whose army?” I stood in front of him now, in his personal space, of course having to look up to meet his eyes. His cock twitched, betraying his interest. “I have an army.”
I looked at him quizzically, and he looked sheepish. “It’s one of my lines in the film. I forgot; you haven’t heard it yet.” He pulled me to him suddenly, kissed me fiercely. “Please, escort me to the shower. I can’t tear myself away from you to go alone.”
“Yes, Tom,” I answered breathlessly. I stepped back and stripped my clothes off. “Towel?”
Tom shook his head, as if coming to. “God, I missed you, Caro. I have the photos, but you’re so beautiful.” He looked at me with hungry eyes. “Don’t expect to make it through this shower unmolested.” His cock stood at attention by now, and his chest and cheeks were flushed.
“I’d be upset if I did,” I answered, wrapping my hand around his cock and leading him into the bathroom. “But we’re getting in right now. You still stink.”
He grinned, and reached to turn on the shower. “Yes, Mistress,” he said, laughing.
The shower stall was small, only meant for one. We giggled as we manoeuvred around each other, wet skin sliding on wet skin, stepping on each other’s feet and jockeying for the soap.
“Why don’t you let me wash you?” I suggested after the second time I caught his elbow just before it could knock me in the head.
“Can you reach?” he teased, then knelt on the floor of the shower to let me wash his hair.
“So, you’ll keep the extensions in the whole shoot?” His hair was a lot longer than usual, in addition to its altered texture and colour.
“Yeah, it’s easier than redoing them all the time. I can’t wait to get my own hair back.” He took advantage of his position to draw one of my breasts to his mouth, sucking on the nipple as he fondled one breast with each hand. I gasped and froze, my soapy hands in his hair, my eyelids fluttering at the sensation. “I did warn you,” he murmured as he moved to the other breast. His light eyes flicked up to watch my face as I moaned his name
As he continued nuzzling my breasts, his right hand reached out to find the bar of soap that had landed on the floor during our silly game of ‘keep away’ earlier. Lathering up both hands, he slid them between my legs, one in front, the other behind. His slick and nimble fingers felt incredible as they teased and tweaked me, one long finger slipping inside me to curl and probe, making me shudder. I clung to his shoulders to remain upright, my nails digging in as he found a particularly sensitive spot and pressed his advantage.
Tom’s other hand, the one behind me, was busy as well. After initially fondling my ass, he dipped his index finger in between my cheeks to trace a line from the bottom of my slit, over my asshole and back again. Emboldened by my moans, Tom concentrated more attention there, circling about with his soap-slicked fingertip. With his other hand, he flicked his thumb across my clit, two fingers buried deep inside me. I was up on my toes, off-balance, clinging to him for support.
“You like that? Do you?” Tom’s voice was challenging, taunting. “Tell me.”
“Yes, Tom.” My voice shook from the effort of remaining upright under the barrage of sensation he was producing. We had never engaged in any type of anal play before; I hadn’t thought I was interested. Tom’s gentle exploration felt strange and exciting at the same time.
“I want you to come for me. Come for me, Caro.” He sucked on the soft skin of my breast, leaving another love bite as his hands sped up, driving me over the edge. I lost my footing, clinging to Tom’s shoulders, wailing, my body wracked with pleasure. As I recovered, I realized that Tom had actually inserted his finger into my asshole while I was coming; now it was uncomfortable.
“Tom,” I said weakly. “I don’t…could you…” I wriggled in his grasp, but was pinned in place, unable to raise myself high enough to disengage from his hands.
“What’s the matter, darling?” He continued to kiss whatever skin presented itself to him, his tongue as languorous as his hands, which still impaled me.
“Your finger is in my ass, that’s what’s the matter!” I said hotly as I managed to push back enough to force him to look at me.
He took his hands away, making me sway as I found my balance, and held them up in surrender. “You seemed to like it at the time,” he observed. Frowning, he leaned his head back and rinsed the remaining lather from his hair. When he had finished, he stood, fixing me with his gaze, still frowning. “Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time you liked something I did that you thought was outside your comfort zone.” He planted his feet, wide, and slid down the wall enough to bring our eyes level, then pulled me to him. “You like it when I push your boundaries,” he hissed in my ear. “You love it. You think you know yourself, but you’re wrong. You’ve never admitted to yourself how dirty you like it. You give up control to me so you can pretend I made you act like a whore. But it’s all you, Caro. You love every minute of it.”
He pressed down on my shoulders, forcing me to my knees on the shower floor. “Now show me, Caro. Show me how much you love my cock.”
My mind was reeling from what he’d said, how much of it struck home. My sex life before Tom had been what I thought of as fairly standard, even scandalous to some: several medium-to-long-term monogamous relationships, including my marriage, a few one-night stands I wasn’t proud of, a friend-with-benefits. The sex itself was pretty mainstream, though nothing was wrong with that. I wasn’t into pain; I hadn’t thought I had any kinks, until Tom. We had been playing a control game with sex since before we even made it to bed; sometimes it spilled out of the bedroom. He had pulled me into role-playing, bondage, and exhibitionism, all without discussion beforehand. Was this really any different?
Putting my thoughts aside, I turned my attention to Tom’s magnificent cock, standing at attention in front of my face. Lathering my hands well, I started soaping him up, being sure to get into every fold and crevice, running one hand between the cheeks of his ass. He moaned in appreciation as my slick hands moved up and down his shaft, my thumb sliding over the head.
“I think you’re clean now,” I said, and ducked out of the way of the water spray, letting it run down his body, rinsing the soap away. Returning to kneel in front of him, I looked up, past his toned abs and chest, to see him watching me. I had expected to see lust and anticipation; the look of total adoration on his face took my breath away, not least because he had just spoken to me so harshly.
I smiled as I wrapped one hand around his shaft again, and was rewarded by a sharp intake of breath as his eyes fluttered closed. As I took the head of his cock into my mouth, he moaned and let his head fall back against the tile with a thud. The water beat on my back as I started to suck in earnest, taking a little more of him into my mouth with each stroke. I kept control of his cock with my right hand at its base; the other was free to explore his balls, his thighs, and his fine, firm ass, which was definitely even more toned than when he’d last left England. As always, the more excited Tom got, the more turned on I got. I still never took for granted that this man, this amazing man, wanted only me.
I had worked my way down to the bottom of his shaft, my throat relaxed to take him in, my hand controlling the depth to avoid gagging myself. Tom was groaning, clutching at the tile, at my hair. “God, Caro, that’s so good,” he said, his voice low, his hips moving in an undulating dance against the tile wall. “I love fucking your mouth. You are so fucking good. Fuck, Caro, I, I’m, I, fuck!” He came, flooding my mouth, hot and bitter. He slid down the wall, his knees folding, making him look a bit like a stick insect as he settled on the floor of the shower, his legs bent in half. His eyes were glazed, and he gave me a goofy, contented grin.
“So,” I ventured. “Could you tell how much I love your cock?”
He nodded, still smiling, his face almost beatific.
“We’re starting to run out of hot water. We’d better get out.” He nodded again and clambered reluctantly up from the floor.
Dried off, teeth brushed, and spooning with me in bed, Tom yawned. “I haven’t been sleeping very well,” he admitted.
“Why not?” I asked. “You usually sleep like the dead.”
He buried his face in my neck, breathing me in. He exhaled, his breath warm against my shoulder. “You know I went to boarding school, starting when I was thirteen. My parents were divorcing, and I felt very alone. I missed them; I missed my sisters. Everything was different. But you can’t go crying that you’re lonely at school, can you? I put on a game face during the day, but I had nightmares. I dreamt that I woke up in my bed at home, only no one was there. It was silent as a tomb, dust on everything, cobwebs, as though I had been asleep for a hundred years. I’d wander around and never find anyone. I’d wake up in the dormitory, surrounded by the other boys, feeling utterly alone. I didn’t dare cry: what if someone heard me? I’d never live it down. The dreams got a bit better after I started doing theatre. I had an outlet for my sadness and anger there. The dreams had disappeared completely by the time I left Eton.” He stopped to kiss my shoulder. “The night before I shouted at you for having lunch with that young doctor you were mentoring, I had that dream again. I hadn’t had that dream in twelve years.”
I twisted around to face him. His face was desolate. I cupped his cheek in my hand.
“All it took was two weeks away from you,” he said softly. “Do you understand how much I need you? Why I get so…”
“Possessive?” I offered.
“I was going to say ‘crazy,’ but yeah, I guess ‘possessive’ works too.” He ran a hand down my side. “The thought of you ever leaving me, ever being with someone else crushes my soul.” His eyes were intense, seeming to shine in the reflected light of the bedside lamp. “How can I ever be content, Caro? How can I know that you’ll stay mine?” His hand tightened in my hair. “My marks fade, you meet new people every day. How can I know, Caro?”
He was starting to scare me. He had started out sounding so vulnerable, but now he was needy, demanding, pulling my hair harder than he knew, I was certain. “Tom! You’re hurting me!” I reached up to tug on his hand.
He let go, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m sorry! God, I’m sorry! Why do I do that? What’s happening to me?” His shoulders jerked and I realized he was crying.
“Tom? Tom, it’s okay. I’m fine.” I petted his hair, feeling confused and out of my depth. “Tom, look at me. Please?”
He slowly lowered his hands, showing me his red-rimmed eyes and the tears streaking his blotchy cheeks. He sniffed as he tried to stop crying. He looked completely miserable.
“I…Caro, I…” It took him several tries before he could form a sentence. “I don’t know why I get like this with you. I’ve never been like this with a girlfriend before. Needing reassurance. Needing to possess. Maybe I’ve never really been in love before.” Tentatively, he brought one hand back to my face, smiling slightly when I didn’t flinch. “I love you, Caro. I need you. I need to know you’ll always be mine.”
I leaned toward him, kissing him gently on the lips. I rested my forehead on his. “I love you. Sometimes you scare me with how intense you are. I don’t know what to say or do to make you stop questioning my devotion to you. I’m yours, Tom. I can’t put it any plainer.”
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer and throwing his leg over mine. I was cocooned in his embrace, held by his impossibly long limbs. “Keep telling me. Keep telling me, every day. I promise, you’ll never have reason to doubt that I love you.” He kissed me slowly, gently, his tongue tentatively probing my bottom lip until I encouraged him, pulling his face towards mine and sucking on his tongue. He took back control of the kiss, sighing into my mouth. I relaxed and let him take over. Tentative Tom made me nervous; he wasn’t himself when he wasn’t in control.
Tom leaned his head back enough to focus on my face. “You’ve had a very long day, haven’t you? You must be exhausted. Let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow I want to show you everything, introduce you to everyone. Okay?”
“Okay.” Now that he mentioned it, fatigue came crashing down on me as though summoned by his words. I snuggled my head into the hollow of his shoulder as he shifted onto his back. I felt him kiss the top of my head as I drifted off to sleep.